What what?

I really SUCK at blogging. I don't even know how to post a freakin' picture on here. Plus I don't have any idea what to talk about. Hmmm, should it be my diet (or lack thereof), my anxiety attacks, the weather, the Sensations drill team, my husbands job situation, my stress about paying the bills, the snow, my sinus infection (going on 3 weeks!), my awesome kids and grandkids, stress about my son getting married/not getting married, my online college class, my primary calling, my job, working out, my third plastic surgery coming up on my stomach, (three times is the charm) what what???

Life is way too complicated. I decided I want to go back to around 1979. The year before I graduated from high school. No bills to worry about, I actually HAD a metabolism and could eat whatever I wanted, (I remember eating the BEST brownies in the world that our HS cafeteria made every single day with milk, sighhhh, those were the days....), no mortgages, kids, stress, life was good!  I know life is good now in many ways, but it's just soooo hard and complicated. I really try and pray with sincerity every single morning for God to help me make it through one more day. I just take one day at a time, thats all I can do right now.

Crazy

My hormones are messing with my head! I literally feel like I'm going crazy. I have had a couple of panic/anxiety attacks in the last week. I am seriously EXHAUSTED all. the. time. I have to take a sleeping pill every night just to get to sleep. I have very high anxiety on a continual basis. My sister said that she felt the exact same way until she got her uterus (how do you spell that word?) yanked. Maybe that's what I need to do. On a happier note, the weather has been so beautiful. We haven't had snow in weeks! Just sunshine every day. And I've been working out and eating healthy every day. And drill team season is in full swing! My 10th year! The Sensations are so freakin' amazing. They rock it every time they dance. Love love them. And so proud of my senior, Cami.

Resolutions

Do resolutions really work? By March most of them are forgotten. I will be 50 freakin' years old this year. If I don't at least accomplish something this year, when will I? So here goes:

1.  I will FINALLY lost these pesky 30 pounds that have been hanging around (that means NO BINGING!)
2.  I will read my scriptures every day (even if it's only for 3 minutes!) (I've actually been pretty good on this one the last little while)
3.  I will be happy, no matter what is happening in life. After all, happiness is a STATE OF MIND, not a location or anything else.
4.  I will be present in whatever I'm doing and take one day at a time.
5.  Complete at least 15 credits towards my bachelors by the end of the year.

Taking charge of your life is the hardest thing. But I think the thing to remember is that we do have to power to change and the power to be whatever we want to be.

AMEN